The long awaited day was finally here! Saturday, August 12, 2023, Hilary and Florence were becoming man and wife! It is hard to believe that I have known them both for close to 17 years. Hilary just turned 28 years old and Florence is 26 years old! That means when we first met they were 11 and 9! Wow!!!
Hilary and the wedding committee were busy talking to friends and family every day the week of the wedding. At the end of each day, they would come together and make adjustments to the budget depending on how much they had raised. They were doing this all the way to the day of the wedding! I thought waiting until the last minute to buy flowers was a challenge! I have never seen anything like it! They were still finalizing the food and the decorations all the way up to the morning of the ceremony!
The other thing that has always been a part of the culture is when things actually start. I mentioned this in Update #4. Most of the time when they say an event will start at a specific time, hardly anyone is actually there. Most of the time, things begin an hour or two after what is planned. When I was waiting at the hotel to be picked up, I always added at least one hour. I filled in that time with working on updates. But when it got to the third hour, I would begin to wonder!
The same was true the day of the wedding. I was picked up one hour after the scheduled start time! Yet, when we got to the house, only about a third of the guests had arrived! Even the bride and the groom were not there. While we waited, the choir led in worship. People started slowly filling in the seats. Ultimately, we had over 200 people attend the wedding!
I will never forget when Hilary first arrived. It all became very real. The bridal party got ready in separate places off campus. When Hilary and the groomsmen arrived, they drove onto our compound to shouts of joy! They got out on the side of the house where the awaiting guests could not see them. But when I stood next to Hilary as he exited the car driven by Godfrey, all I could do was cry. He looked so handsome and happy. All the planning and the ups and downs of the past three weeks just melted away. This moment is what mattered. Hilary and Florence were getting married!
The groomsmen, which included our handsome Henry, proceeded through the archway with a coordinated dance up the aisle. Hilary’s best man was dressed in the same outfit as Hilary. The best man stays with Hilary basically anywhere he goes. He helps him with anything he needs. They all had a seat in the front rows as we waited for the arrival of the bride. We had about 20 minutes of worship led by Sylvia and the choir. One of Godfrey’s assistants in Raining Hope Ministries is also called Godfrey! That Godfrey led as a master of ceremonies. As he was sharing with the guests, the cars carrying Florence and the bridal party finally turned into our compound!!
This time the cars drove right up to our venue. Remember the bows we made in Update #4? They used the big, fancy bows to decorate the wedding cars! I handed the bouquets to the bridal party as they were exiting the cars. Wow! Florence was so beautiful! She had a beautiful traditional wedding gown. You could see her huge smile right through the veil! Because Florence no longer has her father, her uncle was the representative to walk her down the aisle.
In Update #6, I mentioned the significant, cultural role the main aunt plays. The aunt prepares the bride for marriage in counseling and guidance. She also speaks on behalf of the bride to her father and mother. It is this aunt that faces the family to break the news about the relationship. During the preparation for the Introduction, the aunt is the one who negotiates on behalf of the bride to the parents. The aunt is the one responsible for helping the bride ensure she is marrying the right man. This “senga” now functions as a “maid of honor”. She is not dressed like the rest of the bridal party. But she has the responsibility of standing with Florence throughout the whole day.
As they came through the archway, Florence was just beaming with joy! Our little Hope and Trust were the flowers girls. They were just so adorable! On Hilary’s side, the other Godfrey’s two young sons were like “ring bearers”. Esther, Florence’s sister was just beautiful as one of the bridesmaids. Florence and the bridesmaids were also seated in the front few rows.
Pastor Robert, the officiating pastor was from another local church in Jinja. He is actually the same pastor who married Godfrey & Irene around 14 years ago. When Godfrey was in school he also was also his pastor.
It was interesting because the vows are actually read twice. First, the pastor approaches Hilary then Florence. They separately affirm the vows with, "I will". They are not standing together. As the custom, the aunt or “senga” was seated in-between Hilary and Florence. It is only after these first vows that one of Florence’s brothers came forward to officially present Florence to Hilary.
At this moment, the pastor shares a story from Genesis 29 in the Bible. Jacob agreed to work for Laban for seven years so he could marry Rachel whom he loved. Yet, Laban tricked him into marrying the older sister, Leah first. So the pastor said, “Hilary, how sure are you that this is Florence you are marrying?” That is when Hilary lifts the veil off of Florence and the pastor says, “Is she the one?” Hilary says, “Yes” and the response is “Hallelujah!” It was a very sweet but funny moment!
This time the vows are repeated to each other. Throughout the vows, the response of the guests were so precious. There were a lot of "ooh's and aah's” in agreement! Everyone was so happy it was like a symphony of happiness! As soon as they each finished their vows there was cheering and clapping! It was the sweetest moment! Then they exchanged the rings . He said, “See these rings. They look very precious and wonderful. They are round and have no cracks. But they mean nothing if something has not happened inside. They symbolize that your love is complete. It is not broken. Everyday when you look at them you remember the vows you have made.” The pastor prayed the rings would be blessed and sanctified. As they placed the rings on each other’s hands they expressed their love to one another to the absolute cheers of the guests!
When the pastor pronounced them man and wife, they hugged one another instead of the traditional kiss in the American culture. In Uganda, culturally, public displays of affection are not common, even in a wedding ceremony! Then the congregation begins to sing, “Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Loves Me!”
Hilary, Florence, the aunt and the best man all knelt in prayer. The parents and the main family members join them as one representative of either side prayed a blessing over them. We laid hands on the couple as the pastor concluded in prayer over them.
They are now officially married!!!! What an amazing experience! Hilary and Florence go to the stage to formally sign the wedding document. Then the pastor formally introduces them as Mr. & Mrs!
There is a moment they take a love offering for the couple. There was an abundance of dancing, cheering and celebrating! This was followed by a lot of formal family and wedding party photos. When all of that was finished the wedding party officially danced down the aisle to the awaiting cars! Henry told me that the boys had just met most of the girls in the bridal party the day before. All of the coordinated dancing throughout the wedding day looked like they had been practicing for months!
While the wedding area was reset for the reception, the bridal party went to take more photos. We went off site to a local hotel that had a beautiful garden area. Godfrey had Joan come with us to stay with me. I had mentioned in Update #3 how they will always escort me places. There is an act of honor and respect in this gesture. Someone is always there to help me with whatever I need. When I get out of the car, they always come to greet me but also to carry whatever bags I may have in the car. They have such a spirit of hospitality and service.
Even when we went to the hotel for pictures, I noticed all the boys carried the girls bouquets! They love to care for one another and they love to serve. After we took photos at the hotel, they first took the bridal party back to the home. The day of the wedding we found out we were short one car which added to the delays. Joan stayed with me and we waited for them to come back to get us. While we waited we actually met a deaf man! He was trying to raise money to go to a deaf conference in Kampala. He was shocked when I began signing to him! We actually had a great conversation and perfectly understood one another! What a blessing that encounter was!
The reception at the home was an event in itself! We had to hire more chairs and set them up on the side. More people showed up after the actual ceremony. By time the reception was in full swing we must have had close to 250 people!
The stage had been reset. We had a beautiful white couch that was center stage for the bride and the groom. The entire bridal party sat around the tables set on the stage. They began the festivities with what was almost a “first dance”. Our choir and band provided a time of worship. This all led into a time of blessing the food.
Hilary and the committee were able to raise enough funds to provide a feast for their guests. To me it was cutting it a little too close! But I am proud of Hilary for all he did that week with the wedding committee to pull it off! There was more than enough for everyone!
After the meal, the reception program began. While we were having an opening time of worship, the wedding party was busy changing clothes! I didn’t realize that they had a second set of clothing for the reception. What was fun was the way they re-entered the reception! They had coordinated another dance starting with the children. Even the aunt and the best man led the adults in with the rest of the bridal party following. When Hilary and Florence danced up the aisle you could just feel the joy overflowing from their hearts! What a celebration of love!
We then had the cutting of the cake. They scaled down the size of the original cake to adjust to the final budget. There were a couple of larger cakes that were cut for those in attendance. Cake is not cut into large pieces like you would find at one of our wedding receptions. Instead they cut the cake into bite size pieces.
When the bride and groom served one another cake, Florence knelt on the ground out of respect for her husband. When Hilary served Florence, she actually sat on his lap! Again, many sweet “oohs” followed after they served one another. Hilary and Florence then went to their families to offer them a piece of wedding cake. Our girls helped to serve the rest of the guests.
They also had smaller “groom cakes” around 4”-6” round that they immediately wrapped up. Those were gifts they presented to their families and to the ministries represented. They presented one to Raining Hope and also one to me as mum.
We had a time of sharing where a representative from Hilary & Florence’s family each gave a word of encouragement to the couple. The ministry Florence works for, as well as Raining Hope and Cornerstone were well represented. They asked me to share a word to the couple as a mum as well as a prayer to bless their marriage.
The reception was filled with cultural traditions that are much different than ours. But the reception was more like a worship service filled with absolute praise and joy! It was very important to Hilary and Florence that their special day would bring glory and honor to the Lord.
I signed a song as part of the time of blessing called, “The Road That Never Ends” by Keali’i Reichel. The words sum up the beauty of this day:
“Here we are in this holy place together. Bearing witness as the two of you become man & wife
On this day, as you join in heart and spirit, You begin another chapter in the book of life
Love...Is the circle that surrounds you. You can find it on the faces of your family & friends
Love...Let it wrap its arms around you. And guide you on your journey down the road that never ends.”
At the end of the night, as people began to leave, Florence’s mother who speaks no English came over to me and just hugged me and simply said, “Thank you”. Her uncle as well who stood in the place of her dad greeted me with gratefulness. Hilary’s father also came to share a word of thankfulness. As “parents” it was a very special moment.
Two wonderful families came together on this day. Hilary and Florence are a testimony to God’s grace, love and goodness. God was the center of the festivities. The Lord was honored and glorified in ways that can only be explained by the miraculous.
I wish you all could have been there. I hope this longer update gave you a glimpse into their special day. One more update and then photos will follow on the blog and Facebook.
Chapter 26 in my story, includes this new chapter beginning in Hilary & Florence's story. What a privilege to be a part of what God is doing in their lives. Thank YOU for being a part of this journey
Kale,
Mama Kisakye
